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Post by emma grant on Apr 17, 2009 14:35:34 GMT -5
 OUR SONG IS THE SLAMMING SCREEN DOORS
SNEAKING OUT LATE TAPPING ON YOUR WINDOW[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Emma ran her hand slowly through her long brown hair and groaned. She was really actually quiet bored, which was very surprising because of the fact that for as long as Emma had been here camp had done anything but bore her. She'd been so busy that she hadn't had any time left over to be bored. She didn't even have any time to see Mitchie or Nate. Although it wasn't as if either of them were making such a huge effort to see her. Of course, she wouldn't be pointing the finger at anyone aside from herself. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately, always blaming herself when anything went wrong. She couldn't help it though. She'd just been feeling a lot differently lately. It was like she wasn't Emma anymore. She was someone totally different who'd taken over her body. She was tired all of the time, she was always blaming herself for every little thing that happened and she was constantly finding herself drinking again. Drinking? Yes, she was drinking again. It wasn't as if she'd told anyone that she'd stopped exactly. She'd been telling people that she was doing better with it. She'd told Nate that she wasn't going to go overboard with it, which was okay, a lie. But she didn't care. Yes, she did care that she was lying to Nate, but she didn't really seem to care that she was in over her head. It just wasn't one of her top priorites at the moment.
Emma stared at her phone, dying for it to ring before she remembered that she was planning to meet Nate some time soon. He'd said after classes were over, and classes were over, weren't they? Emma flipped her phone open and dialed Nate's number into the phone quickly before setting it up to her ear, and lying back down on her bunk. When he didn't pick up she sighed slightly before awaiting the beep that let her know her message was being recorded. "Hey, it's me. Um..." Emma paused not know what she wanted to say. "We were going to hang out, right? So I'm calling you to secure that plan I guess. Okay, well i'm going to the lake. Call me or just join me there I guess." she mumbled before pushing the end call button on her phone and sliding in back into her pocket. She stood up off her bed and walked over to the mirror, looking at herself closely. She looked like the same Emma. She didn't seem like she had changed at all, and as much as she wanted to believe that she knew that it wasn't happening. She just didn't get it. How come she had to suddenly start thinking so damn much? If she had just stopped trying to think about her future so much the whole, maybe i'm not a real dancer thing, never would have ocured and she'd be perfectly fine. Yet that hadn't happened so now Emma was in this predicement.
She slid a pair of sunglasses on her head and pulled her hair back in a ponytail. She slid off her converse and put on some flip flops. Nate had said that he was planning on throwing her in, and if that happened then she didn't want to be wearing sneakers. Maybe he wouldn't be, or else he wouldn't have told her. Or he was trying to make her think that he wouldn't so then he could and she wouldn't be expecting it? Okay, the second wasn't likely but you never did know with Nate. As she left her cabin she looked around her room. It was as messy as it had been the first week of camp. Emma and Mitchie couldn't, and wouldn't keep a room clean if they tried. It just wasn't how they wanted stuff to go. Emma allowed the door to close slowly behind her as she made her way over to the lake.
Finding that Nate wasn't there yet, she lay down on the grass. Lucky for her, she was now used to lying on the dirt at camp. It wasn't that bad. Once you did it for a few years, you might have well been lying on a towel or something like that. The sun had begun to go down so it would probably start to get cold soon, and Emma immediatley began to wish that she'd brought a sweatshirt. Or that she'd worn jeans or something. That would have been better, yet she hadn't. She debated whether or not she wanted to go back and get one, but decided against it. Nate would probably be here soon and maybe she'd make him go back with her to get one. She hadn't decided.
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TAGGED ?! NATEE!
STATUS ?! COMPLETE OH YEAH.
CLOTHES ?!HEREEEEE!
NOTES ?! NOTES.
CREDIT ?! _AND_HEARTSXX OF CAUTION!
AND LOES POP[/CENTER] |
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Post by nate gray on Apr 18, 2009 0:21:56 GMT -5
 I'M UNAWARE THAT I'M A NUISANCE[/color][/font] I never want to let her go.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/center] [/b] Sometimes he absolutely hated being a counselor... but it was something he loved most of the time, so he kept doing it. He looked back out to the water, still a little stressed over life in general at the moment. Mostly he was worried he was losing Em. They hadn't gotten to hang out much in a while. He missed holding her. He missed kissing her. He missed just talking to her. Even if they fought sometimes, he missed her. And he wasn't so much for fighting her bad habits anymore. Something had made him change his mind and realize that some things aren't as bad as they seemed. He leaned back on his elbows, still looking out at the water, then his eyes went to Emma. "I've missed you." was all he said, his eyes looking at hers. He really had missed her... a lot. [/ul][/SIZE][/center] --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------CREDITS , STEPHA-NEE! at CAUTION.
TAGS , Emma ?!
WEARING , click.
STATUS , complete.
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Post by emma grant on Apr 19, 2009 10:16:16 GMT -5
OUR SONG IS THE SLAMMING SCREEN DOORS
SNEAKING OUT LATE TAPPING ON YOUR WINDOW [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Emma held her breath as she waited for someone to come up to her. Anyone. She really didn’t mind if it was even Nate. Sure, she’d be happy if it was Nate. She’d be more then happy if it was Nate. He was, after all, the one she wanted to see at the moment. But if Mitchie or Caitlyn were to walk by and talk to her for a few minutes before Nate were to come, then she wouldn’t mind. Hell, if Madison were to walk by while she was here she wouldn’t mind. If that happened then Emma could talk to her about…stuff. Probably Nate. That was the only thing that they really had in common. Emma was dating Nate, and Maddie was best friends with Nate. Well, they had the whole musical interest thing in common too. Emma was a dancer, and Madison was a singer. It was as simple as that. The two really should have gotten along, and in a perfect little world they would have. But they didn’t live in that perfect little world so instead they were stuck hating each other. The only problem with that was, Emma was finding it harder and harder each day to hate Madison. Ever since Nate had told her about the whole, Maddie having cancer thing, she just found it hard to do so. How could you possibly hate a person when they were just that sick? It was impossible in Emma’s point of view, and even though Nate told her not to feel sorry for her, she just couldn’t help it.
So now Emma was hoping that Madison wouldn’t walk by for the soul reason that she wouldn’t know how to act around her. On any ordinary day, she’d make some bitchy comment and then Madison would say something rude back. And then after a few more rounds, Nate would come around and stop the madness. But now that the whole cancer thing had come about, Emma just didn’t know what she’d do. So okay, no Madison. She’d officially crossed her off the list of people she wanted to see. But now she just wanted to know where Nate was. She’d called him a little over ten minutes ago. Maybe he was at classes, she didn’t really know. Maybe he was with Madison. She pulled out her cell phone to see if anyone had texted her within the last few minutes. Nope. Nothing from anyone. She was just that lame.
She shoved her phone back into her pocket and let her head fall back onto the ground. It was a good thing that she hadn’t taken a shower yet. Because now her hair would be all gross, with the dirt in it and all. When someone sat beside her, she squinted through her sunglasses to see who it was and once she saw that it was Nate, she smiled. After she listened what he had to say she sat up and crossed her legs. Y’know, criss-cross applesauce. Yeah, just like that. She sat like that and looked out to the lake, before sliding her glasses off of her eyes and onto the top of her head. It wasn’t actually that sunny out. Well, yeah it was sunny but the trees were kind of blocking the sun from her eyes. Therefor sunglasses weren’t really needed at the moment.
She shrugged at Nate’s story. Okay, gross. She didn’t really need to know the details. He could have just as easily told her that he was sorry, which he didn’t even need to say that because he wasn’t late. It wasn’t as if they’d set a time to meet or anything. “I really needed to know that,” she said sarcastically, smiling over at him. It that had happened to her while she’d been teaching then she would have had a cow, basically. She couldn’t stand when people got sick all over the place. It just wasn’t something she enjoyed viewing. So she was really quite glad that it hadn’t happened to her, but to him. Nah, not to him. Let’s just stick with she was glad that it hadn’t happened to her.
She watched as he looked back out to the lake, and followed his eyes. There were a few campers out in canoes, and a few were swimming. Emma wouldn’t mind swimming. She always used to love to swim when she was at camp, but now a days she just didn’t find time, ever. She didn’t have time for anything. Not for Nate, or Mitchie, she barely had time for eating and sleeping. She smiled at what he said next. Good. He wasn’t moving on because he hadn’t seen her in so long, or so it seemed. “I’ve missed you too,” she said back, smiling as she looked at Nate.
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TAGGED ?! NATEE!
STATUS ?! COMPLETE OH YEAH.
CLOTHES ?!HEREEEEE!
NOTES ?! NOTES.
CREDIT ?! _AND_HEARTSXX OF CAUTION!
AND LOES POP[/CENTER] |
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Post by nate gray on Apr 20, 2009 0:25:51 GMT -5
I'M UNAWARE THAT I'M A NUISANCE [/color][/font] I never want to let her go.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/center] [/b] He said, just laughing as she sat up and sat cross-legged next to him. When she moved, he couldn't help but notice the grace that came with her. She was a dancer, and he knew it, but she apparently was questioning that. He didn't understand that one at all. That would be like him questioning whether or not he should be a musician. It just didn't make sense. If it was something you were good at and loved, it was who you were. Maybe she didn't love it anymore? He knew she was still an amazing dancer, but if that passion for it was gone... then what was the point of sticking with it? But even then, he didn't completely understand it. Music was in his blood, he couldn't live without it. He had always thought dancing was like that for Emma. But things changed, right? Yes... things changed. Especially in Nate's life. He wasn't sure he believed in anything staying the same anymore. First his best friend had somehow gotten cancer, then his parents had gotten in a huge fight with him, then he felt the need to work on some solo stuff and had gotten yelled at about it. He was just stressed, and Nate had usually been the pretty laid back one. He didn't know how Emma coped with all her family stuff. It was crazy. Actually, he did know how she coped. And at this point, he didn't feel the need to judge her for it anymore. She smiled and said she missed him too and he took his hand and put it on her cheek before leaning in and kissing her softly on the lips. It had been forever since he had kissed her. He pulled back and smiled. "I missed that, too." He said, laughing a bit and pulling away, staring out at the lake. A few campers were out there and he sighed. They made life look so easy. It wasn't fair. "It's kind of annoying to watch them out there." He said, sighing a bit and looking over to Em. "They make life look so carefree with no problems or worries. I'm almost jealous of them." He said, sighing. "It seems life is trying it's best to rip me in half. First my best friend gets cancer, then my parents and I got into a fight, then stuff with the label, then the fact I haven't seen you in forever and I was worried you were moving on. Everything is just changing or falling apart and watching them makes me wish that it'd all just stop... for an hour or so at least. Just so I can catch my breath and keep running." He said, sighing again and still watching the campers. He hadn't really meant to rant to her about his life. It had just come out. But hey, she was his girlfriend. If he couldn't rant to her, who could he rant to? [/ul][/SIZE][/center] --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------CREDITS , STEPHA-NEE! at CAUTION.
TAGS , Emma ?!
WEARING , click.
STATUS , complete.
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Post by emma grant on Apr 20, 2009 10:57:56 GMT -5
OUR SONG IS THE SLAMMING SCREEN DOORS
SNEAKING OUT LATE TAPPING ON YOUR WINDOW [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Emma shook her head no. She really didn’t want to know that. She seriously could not deal with people getting sick in front of her. She was sure that if she was in Nate’s situation, that she herself, would have thrown up. Or like slipped in the mess, like on Cheaper by the Dozen. But lucky for Emma it had been Nate, the one with the strong stomach, who was in the situation. So he could tell her all about it, and she would only pretend that she was enthused about it. Actually, she probably wouldn’t even pretend to be excited. She had told Nate that she hadn’t wanted to know, had she? Was Emma, Emma if she held back her feelings? I didn’t think so.
But, there were a lot of things changing about Emma lately. She hadn’t gotten into a screaming fit with anyone in the past, two and a half weeks if not more. What was up with that? Last year at camp, Emma was picking fights with people every three seconds, even with Nate. She couldn’t help it last year. It was just her instinct to put up a fight with anyone who insulted her. She would go into defensive mode within a short three seconds. That was just how she worked, but ever since her and Nate had gotten back together it was just…different. She wasn’t holding back, exactly. That wouldn’t be like Emma to really change for anyone. She was too stubborn for that. But I guess you could say she was trying to change, for Nate’s sake. She didn’t want anything to turn out like last year. That was just bad. She’d made him pass out for god’s sake. She was not going to let that happen again, and if that meant holding back a bit then that was what she’d have to do. It was as easy as biting her tongue when she felt the need to yell at someone. It probably wasn’t good for her to hold in such anger, maybe she should get a therapist…
Emma opened her mouth to say something along the lines of, ‘Is it bad that I haven’t gotten into a screaming fight with anyone?’ because Emma was beginning to think that it might have been. She would probably explode soon. Oh shit, now she was going to be freaking out thinking that she was going to yell at the next person who looked at her wrong. Her thoughts were interrupted by Nate’s lips moving closer and closer to Emma’s until he finally kissed her. She smiled, although you couldn’t actually tell because Nate’s head was in the way of all that. When he pulled away, the smile didn’t leave her face. If Nate kept doing that, then Emma wouldn’t ever feel the need to scream at anyone. She ran her hand slowly through her hair, “I didn’t,” she said sarcastically laying back down on the dirt. She tried to contain her smile but wasn’t able to. Nate knew she was kidding, or if he didn’t then he didn’t know much about Emma and her sarcastic ways. Of course she’d missed kissing Nate. She’d missed being around Nate, she’d missed anything to do with Nate really.
Emma nodded when Nate said something about envying…someone. Although she couldn’t really see who he was talking about since she’d gone back to lying on the ground, but she could guess who it was. She assumed it was the carefree campers who were out in the lake. Emma envied them too. Once Nate finished his little rant, she sat up. Where the hell was all of this coming from? Sure, she knew that he had some bottled up feelings from the whole Madison having Cancer thing, but she didn’t know all this other stuff was going on. He was supposed to be the calm one in their relationship. He was the one who was supposed to tell Emma that drinking wasn’t the way to solve her problems. She was the stressed out one, not him. This was going to totally screw over their relationship if they were both stressed out all the time. She could have easily reciprocated with one of her own rants, but she just didn’t have it in her to put even more issues on him. If he knew that she was A. drinking more then ever again, B. starting to hate dance, C. feeling suffocated all the time, then that would just be three more things that he would have to worry about. She wasn’t going to put all of that on him. She hugged her knees close to her chest and looked at the lake again. “When did everything become so hard?” she said.
Last year, camp was so much easier. She was a camper. She didn’t have a care in the world. She was with Nate, and although their relationship really had sucked, she still wasn’t half way as stressed out as she was now. Maybe she’d just leave camp. She could go back to Boston, and finish her summer without anymore stress, and drama and anything. Her and Nate probably wouldn’t last after the summer was over. She needed to be realistic. He would go off on tour, she’d go off to Boston again. He was Nate Gray. He was famous. He’d have girls throwing themselves at him every three seconds. Even if they stayed together, Emma wouldn’t be able to deal with even thinking about Nate being on tour and all the girls. She’d be paranoid, to say at the least. Emma sighed, turning to face Nate. “Nate,” she began, trying to figure out just what she wanted to say. What was she supposed to say? She wanted to say something about how they needed to be realistic. “Is this…going anywhere?” she said quietly, before cursing herself silently. That wasn’t how she’d wanted it to come out. “I mean, after summer’s over…you’ll go on tour, and I’ll…I’ll be back in Boston.” she said looking down at her hands.
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TAGGED ?! NATEE!
STATUS ?! COMPLETE OH YEAH.
CLOTHES ?!HEREEEEE!
NOTES ?! NOTES.
CREDIT ?! _AND_HEARTSXX OF CAUTION!
AND LOES POP[/CENTER] |
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Post by nate gray on Apr 20, 2009 19:30:18 GMT -5
I'M UNAWARE THAT I'M A NUISANCE [/color][/font] I never want to let her go.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/center] She asked when everything became so hard and his shoulders sagged. It was true, something had made life extremely hard and not worth going through. He wasn't sure where his happiness used to come from, and he was pretty sure that was why he had come to Emma in the first place, to find that again. But as she spoke, he wasn't sure he had come to the right place. "I don't know... I guess it's called growing up." was all he said. It was true, that's what growing up was about. Fighting battles and figuring out just where to go next. He wasn't sure him and Emma were meant to be, especially after her next statement.
Wait, what? Was this going anywhere? Was she breaking up with him? He moved his hands to his hair and let out a big sigh. He stood up and stood infront of her, his back to her, his arms now crossed across his chest. His girlfriend wanted to break up with him? Was that seriously happening? Or was he completely overreacting? He had basically begged on his hands and knees for her to take him back and she was throwing that back in his face without even thinking about it at all? Or maybe she had been thinking about it a lot. Maybe that was why she had been so distant? He was confused as hell and turned to face her finally.
"What are you saying, Emma?" He sighed again. "Are you saying we need to break up because I'm going on tour? Are you asking this so I'm the one to say it and you don't have to? Or do you really not see us going anywhere?" He asked, now completely confused outside of his mind. He had come here to get back in touch with Emma, and here she was asking if they were going anywhere. He turned his back to her and shrugged. "Honestly, I thought we were going somewhere. But I came here to hang out with you and have that one comfort in life back, and you're questioning it." He said, shrugging.
"I honestly thought we were... I did." He said, sighing. "I thought we were going somewhere, but apparently I was wrong." He said, looking back at her. He was probably overreacting... probably taking things way too seriously or was possibly losing the last bit of sense he had in his mind. But he wouldn't go out like that. "You told me we couldn't be just friends. I begged you to take my back... took every inch of pride I had and begged you. And now you're worrying that it won't last. Well, with that attitude, it won't... and probably shouldn't." He said, sighing. Damn... a fight was about to happen. He could feel it. All he had wanted was a night to hang out with his girl... and it was getting ruined because she was doubting herself. Imagine that. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------CREDITS , STEPHA-NEE! at CAUTION.
TAGS , Emma ?!
WEARING , click.
STATUS , complete.
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Post by emma grant on Apr 20, 2009 20:03:00 GMT -5
OUR SONG IS THE SLAMMING SCREEN DOORS
SNEAKING OUT LATE TAPPING ON YOUR WINDOW [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Emma didn’t say anything when Nate answered her question. When did everything become so hard? Even though she hadn’t really meant for Nate to respond to it, she was more asking herself. She wanted to know how come everything that used to be so easy, was becoming so hard. There was only one thing that she could think of that was easier then it was last year, and that was her relationship with Nate. They hadn’t fought, or yelled at each other since the start of the year. Aside from the one time Nate kind of flipped on Emma for wanting to drink again. And even then, he hadn’t really flipped. He was rather calm about the whole thing, just telling her that he cared about her and that he didn’t want her to get kicked out of camp or anything worse then that. Emma knew all of that. He’d more so given her a lecture then actually yelled at her, which should have been good right? But to her it just wasn’t. It wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t how she remembered their relationship being. No, she didn’t want for them to fight constantly but lately they’d just been too perfect together. It just didn’t seem real anymore.
She shrugged at his response. Maybe it was growing up, something she really didn’t want to do. Growing up meant having to have more responsibilities, and she was sure that growing up was what had made her not love dance as much. She’d been thinking about her future too much and with that came her second thoughts about dance. She wouldn’t abandon it though. Dance was what she’d loved for over half of her life. She’d lived, breathed, ate, and slept dance ever since her father had died. It was like her escape route. Whenever she felt horrible about the incident, she’d dance. But now that she’d gotten older, she’d found a new outlet. One that didn’t involve dancing. Instead she’d turned to alcohol to get rid of her pain. It seemed to be working easily enough.
Emma bit her lip as Nate stood. Oh crap. Maybe she shouldn’t have brought it up. She should have just left it alone, that would have been easier. They could have just dealt with it once camp was over, wait. Back the bus up. This wasn’t Emma. Didn’t it sound like she was backing down a bit right now? Wishing she hadn’t brought it up, just to avoid a fight with Nate. That so wasn’t who Emma was. When she was confronted with a fight she’d fight back full force. It was how she worked, or how the old Emma worked. God, why couldn’t Emma just stay the same and stop growing up. She was so sick of all the change. She only had one year left in Boston, and she really didn’t want to be worrying about Nate being on tour the whole time. She’d begun to think that she loved him. Love, even though it was a strong word, she was thinking that she might even be able to handle saying it. Three words. It couldn’t have been that hard? But did she really love Nate? That she wasn’t 100 percent sure of.
When he turned to face her, she squinted against the sun. She could have easily put her sunglasses back on, but the idea hadn’t come to her just yet. She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by Nate continuing on. Okay, that was deffinitly the wrong thing to say to him. Why was he so touchy about it? They both knew it would be coming eventually. It wasn’t like they were destined to stay together forever. Were they? Not that Emma knew of. Even if they didn’t end it by the end of camp, it would happen eventually. But no. She wasn’t saying she wanted to break up with him. She really didn’t want anything to end. She opened her mouth yet again to say something to him but was cut off yet again. Could he not shut up and allow her to get something out? Was that just too hard for him? What, was he afraid of what she’d have to say? Did he honestly think that she was going to break up with him? He really needed a reality check.
She stood up and didn’t even notice that she was a good foot shorter then him, something that on any other day would have stood out to her. It would have annoyed her to no end but today she didn’t realize. Once it looked like he was finally done she crossed her arms. “That’s not what I was thinking at all.” she said looking around. Was he that paranoid or something? He was over reacting way to much. “Do you really not know me well enough to know that if I was going to dump you I’d just say it.” she said, looking back to him. If Emma wanted out she’d say so. She’d say Nate, I’m done with you. Goodbye, and then she’d leave him there. But she hadn’t done that, had she? “Why? Do you want to break up? All I was doing was asking a question. We need to be realistic. We come from two different worlds and we both know just how well I fit in your world,” she mumbled looking at her feet. Before forcing herself to look back up at Nate. "Why would I want to break up with you when I think i'm," she paused before dropping her shoulders in defeat. It didn't matter. She didn't want to tell him that she was falling in love with him. That would only make her more vulnerable. If he could figure it out then, great. If not then great for him, again.
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TAGGED ?! NATEE!
STATUS ?! COMPLETE OH YEAH.
CLOTHES ?!HEREEEEE!
NOTES ?! NOTES.
CREDIT ?! _AND_HEARTSXX OF CAUTION!
AND LOES POP[/CENTER] |
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Post by nate gray on Apr 21, 2009 10:07:58 GMT -5
I'M UNAWARE THAT I'M A NUISANCE [/color][/font] I never want to let her go.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/center] He watched her face as he ranted and wondered if maybe he had gotten it all wrong. She looked a little dumbfounded that he had taken it that way, but what other way were you supposed to take it when someone asked if your relationship was going anywhere? But it was true, Nate had been worried about whether or not they'd make it past camp. He'd be back on tour with Madison and his brothers, and she'd be back in Boston. Even though Emma didn't seem threatened by Madison anymore, he knew she'd be thinking things would be happening. Or at least, would be worrying about it. Summer flings weren't meant to last forever, right? Or were they?
Was he in love with Emma? He kind of missed their fighting. That was something that made them irrevocably... them. He kind of sort of missed being the one who would fight with her and she'd fight back. He just kind of wished it was one of those ordeals where they would fight and then laugh about it ten minutes later. But that wasn't how it was with Emma. When she got in a fight, she had to win it, and Nate couldn't stand that. She could never be wrong, but he was crazy about her. Weren't relationships supposed to test you and bring you out of your comfort zone? And he had basically asked her to change... for him. It wasn't something Nate would ever have asked anyone to do... and he had.
All of a sudden, his eyes turned back to Emma when she started speaking, but before he heard her words, his eyes had already turned sad. He had ruined her. He had taken away that flame Emma had once held in her eyes. He wasn't sure if they were meant to be... hell, he wasn't technically sure he wasn't just meant to be alone, but he knew that if he could do anything for Emma, he could get that fire back for her. If he did nothing else in this relationship, he would make sure that she went back to the old Emma. Drinking and all. She had loved her life that way, and he wasn't going to be the one to ruin her.
He sighed at her words, but didn't attempt to speak. She was talking too fast like he had been earlier and he wouldn't have gotten a word in edgewise. But okay, she didn't want to break up with him. That was a plus. But she said they needed to be realistic. That summer was coming to an end. Then she said something about not fitting in his world. He looked at her and seriously thought at that moment that he could see spending his life with her. Or at least a little of it. They may not be meant to last forever, but right now, he was truly thinking he was in love with her. It was true, he liked Madison, and he loved her... but as a best friend. And maybe that would change one of these days. She had it in her head that they were meant to be, and maybe they were. But not right now. Right now his heart was Emma's, and it had taken him this long to realize it. Damn.
She didn't finish her last sentence and his eyes watched her wearily. When she thought she was what? She couldn't have been about to say in love with him, right? Or was she? This was all so terribly confusing. He took a deep breath and stopped, not wanting to fight. True, he wanted to get that spark back in her, but not right now. This wasn't the time for it. He took a deep breath and walked up to her, placing his hand on her cheek and forcing her to look up at him. He took a deep breath, scared shitless of admitting what he was about to admit. "Em, calm down. The reason I jumped to conclusions was because I was scared. I don't want to lose you, and I thought you were making that happen." He said, sighing. He kissed her forehead softly and pulled back, sighing.
He walked away from her and looked out at the lake, trying to think about what was about to happen. "Remember last summer? You told me something that I wasn't sure I felt back. I was scared, even then, to admit that I could give my heart to someone and trust them not to break it." He was a musician, they worded things different then most. But, then again, people always had called him a romantic. "But I'm not going to fight it anymore." He turned around, put his hands in his pockets and looked up at her with vulnerable eyes. "I-I-I... I love you, Emma Grant." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------CREDITS , STEPHA-NEE! at CAUTION.
TAGS , Emma ?!
WEARING , click.
STATUS , complete.
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Post by emma grant on Apr 21, 2009 14:11:45 GMT -5
OUR SONG IS THE SLAMMING SCREEN DOORS
SNEAKING OUT LATE TAPPING ON YOUR WINDOW [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Emma was starting to regret this whole thing. She could have stayed in her cabin and done something else, like read. Okay, that sounded really lame. She’d be a seventeen year old girl who was spending the only free time she'd had in nearly two weeks reading. Really who did that? She didn’t want to be here having this conversation with him. Camp wasn’t over, she shouldn’t have brought it up. When there were three days left they could be having this conversation. But Emma had stupidly brought it up so now they were having to talk about it. She really hadn’t known that Nate was going to react like he had. If she had then she obviously wouldn’t have said anything. They could have stuck to talking about how much harder camp was this year than last year, and how they didn’t want to grow up, and maybe Emma would mention the fact that she thought her whole world of dance was falling apart right before her eyes, and the fact that she couldn’t do anything to stop it. She just didn’t want to dance anymore. Nothing around her inspired her to do so. You couldn’t dance if you weren’t inspired. You couldn’t do anything artsy without inspiration. It just wasn't going to happen. Well, you could try to but your performance would suck, to put it lightly.
Emma began to wonder if she shouldn’t have said what she’d said last. The whole almost saying the “L” word, because she really wasn’t sure how she felt. Last year she’d, stupidly, told Nate that she loved him. He said he didn’t feel the same way and Emma just brushed it off. She wasn’t sure if she actually had loved him when she said it. It was just kind of a spur of the moment thing. She’d had one of those moments where she’d freak out about her dad and that was when she’d first told Nate about her drinking issue. Yes I said issue. Try and tell Emma that it was a drinking problem and she’d kick the shit out of you. In her mind, calling it a problem made her sound like an alcoholic, and she didn’t want that reputation. If you were seventeen years old, would you want people to think you were an alcoholic? Not to mention if word got out that Nate Gray, perfect flawless Nate Gray, was dating an “alcoholic” girl that wouldn’t only hurt her reputation, but also Nate and his brothers, or it was very likely.
Emma groaned quietly, but looked up at him none the less. He was telling her to calm down? What? He was the one who’d started flipping out on her and he wanted her to calm down? How the hell did that work? When he kissed her on the forehead she groaned yet again. How come she couldn’t stay mad at him? He was way more romantic then any guy she’d ever dated so he was making it extremely hard on her. She wasn’t used to a guy who didn’t just say, “Let’s go babe.” Or something stupid like that. He didn’t just tell her stuff, he really told her stuff. Emma couldn’t even explain it. He was a musician. He’d been writing music for years, that probably had something to do with it. Emma looked back down at the ground not knowing what to say. Still, this wasn’t like her. Emma, not knowing what to say? It was really starting to get on her nerves. Not being able to tell who she was anymore. There were a hundred things changing about her, and she was starting to only be able to find little things about her that were the same. Stuff like, she really loved skittles, or the fact that she still felt the same about Nate. Those things hadn’t changed.
Emma crossed her arms as Nate walked away, feeling a breeze. When did it start getting to cold at camp? Maybe it wasn’t really cold, it was just her. But that thought was pushed aside when Nate started talking again. Emma racked her brain for what he was talking about, and it wasn’t that hard to remember. Yeah, last Summer she’d told him that she loved him. It was a mistake, they both knew it. So where was he going with this? When he finally got all of what he wanted to say out, Emma had to do a double take. He was saying it? That he loved her? Go on Emma, say something. It shouldn’t have been that hard. She came close to saying it just two seconds ago. She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by herself this time. Did she want to say it? She didn’t want to say it, and then have Nate gone in a month. But then again, she had told him at the beginning not to worry about her. That she could take care of herself. So she should have been able to just said it. She moved slowly over to him, seeing how he’d moved in the process of telling her all of this. “I love you too,” she said slowly. She was 95% sure that she did. The other 5%…well she wasn’t sure what the other 5% meant.
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TAGGED ?! NATEE!
STATUS ?! COMPLETE OH YEAH.
CLOTHES ?!HEREEEEE!
NOTES ?! NOTES.
CREDIT ?! _AND_HEARTSXX OF CAUTION!
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Post by nate gray on Apr 22, 2009 1:04:36 GMT -5
I'M UNAWARE THAT I'M A NUISANCE [/color][/font] I never want to let her go.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/center] She said she loved him back and he almost wanted to do somersaults. He wasn't sure she was being honest with him, hell, he wasn't even sure he was being honest with himself. But at this exact moment, he felt like he was in love with her, and the fact that she loved him back made him want to jump with joy. She had walked closer to him and he looked down at her eyes, full of love, but a little bit of defense. She was holding something back, but it was okay. It didn't matter. She had admitted she loved him. That was all there was to it. He wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up, spinning her in circles. He had a smile on his face when he finally set her down.
"You have no idea how hard it was to admit that." He said, sighing and looking down at her. "I really didn't think you'd say it back. I thought I was about to get thrown in the lake." He said, laughing. He seriously couldn't believe that she had said it back. When she first started talking... he seriously thought she was going to break up with him, and even now that he looked at it. Was love enough? She had told him when they first started dating not to worry about it. That she would be perfectly fine. But even now that he had admitted he had fallen for her, he still wasn't sure they would last. He wanted them to last more than anything, but they were too different. They would be too far apart.
He sighed and looked at her. "But love isn't going to be enough, is it?" He asked, sighing and walking back to her. He grabbed her hands and looked into her beautiful chocolate eyes. "I can love you with my whole heart and it won't take the distance away... and it won't make me able to call you and remind you every second that I miss you. It won't let me come hold you when you're upset or wipe away your tears. People always say that you can do anything with love, and I'm not sure that's true." He said, taking a shaky breath. He hated admitting that maybe love couldn't accomplish something. Hell, he believed love was the reason Madison was surviving cancer. But then again, he couldn't believe love would make a long distance relationship work.
"And do we really want to go 9 months apart just to see each other for 3 months and go crazy again? I love you, Emma, but I'm debating whether or not a summer relationship is worth the pain of the separation." He almost had a tear in his eye, but didn't. He wouldn't cry. He was a man, for Christ's sake. When did everything get so complicated? Oh, yeah, when he fell for her. That's when things got complicated. When they were just a regular couple, they didn't have to worry about the future... but when he realized how he truly felt about her, questions started appearing. Questions he couldn't answer.
How good of a boyfriend could he be for her? He'd be on tour with his brothers and Madison the majority of the year and magazines would write stories about them yet again. Heck, half of America already thought they were dating. And if he couldn't call Emma every day, would she started believing the stories? Would he worry that she had found someone else and just hadn't gotten to tell him yet? Should they really leave it as a summer thing? Or should they possibly attempt to make it work? Should they test the time and see what would happen. He really wasn't sure, and he wanted to know Emma's opinion. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------CREDITS , STEPHA-NEE! at CAUTION.
TAGS , Emma ?!
WEARING , click.
STATUS , complete.
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Post by emma grant on Apr 22, 2009 16:20:41 GMT -5
OUR SONG IS THE SLAMMING SCREEN DOORS
SNEAKING OUT LATE TAPPING ON YOUR WINDOW [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Emma was a bit taken back when Nate picked her up and spun her around but she didn’t mind. She loved him. She’d said it and there was really no going back now. So what if she wasn’t 100 percent sure. She was close to that. Nate wouldn’t break her heart, and she knew that. He wasn’t that type of guy to do something like that to a person. He was the one said he’d loved Emma. She really didn’t think he’d want to hurt anyone he loved. She looked up at him to see that he was smiling and laughed quietly to herself. It was good. Her and Nate were really good, finally. After all they went through last year it didn’t seem possible for it to work this year, but it was. Anyone who’d known them last year and who’d watched their relationship fall apart would never have thought they would’ve worked again. Hell, Emma didn’t even think they’d have a chance of working again. Sure, she’d been wanting it to work while they were apart during the school year. She’d seen him everywhere. He was everywhere. In ever magazine she read, or on the tv all the time. He just wasn’t a person that she was able to avoid.
Her smile wouldn’t leave her face as he continued to talk. He thought he was going to get thrown in the lake? Like he thought Emma would push him in. She’d love to do that, but she hadn’t. It was ironic though, whether he remembered it or not, after she’d told him that she’d loved him last year someone had pushed Emma in the lake. They were in the exact same spot as they were last year when Emma made the mistake of saying that she’d loved him. She kept her eyes on him, “I could still do that,” she said, laughing a little. She’d love to push him in but she felt like he still had more to say. She could have, because she also had the feeling that she wasn’t going to exactly like what he had to say. Maybe she was psychic, wouldn’t that be awesome. Who wouldn’t love that? Being psychic and all.
At what he said next she moved her eyes to her feet instead. She really hated at looking at people in these types of situations. Ya know, the really intense ones where anything could happen. She just hated looking people in the eyes. She knew what he was going to say next wasn’t going to be good. But she was the one who said they needed to be realistic. She’d brought this on herself. Once he was done she didn’t say anything. She wouldn’t say anything. He couldn’t tell her that he loved her and then go back on it all like this. It wasn’t going to happen that way. Sure she’d brought it up before, but then they’d moved onto the whole “I love you” thing. He was going to make her regret it. He was going to do it to her. He was going to make her want to take it back.
When he began talking again she still refused to look at him. She was going to be stubborn as hell, and no one was going to stop her. Did she want to go nine months without seeing him? Of course she didn’t, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t try. And it wasn’t like it would be a full nine months, right? There would be breaks and such when she could visit him. He would probably play at least one show in or around Boston. It could work. Sure, she’d been the one doubting it all completely five minutes ago but now she wasn’t. She was really hoping that they could make it work. She didn’t want it all to end just because summer was almost over. How come it had to work that way? She finally looked up at him, but she didn’t say anything. She just kind of glared at him, as to say stop doing this to me, because she really couldn’t deal with it. If he kept thinking that way then Emma would soon start to think that way too again. Someone had to be the positive one in the relationship and if Nate was beginning to doubt it then it had to be Emma.
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TAGGED ?! NATEE!
STATUS ?! COMPLETE OH YEAH.
CLOTHES ?!HEREEEEE!
NOTES ?! NOTES.
CREDIT ?! _AND_HEARTSXX OF CAUTION!
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